James Cameron's Avatar

Sorry about the late update, college has been hitting me hard with finals. This does, however, lead to a lot more drinking, and that means a lot more stuff that belongs here.

In honor of its recent DVD/Blu-ray release, and the millions of environmentalists/special-effects-geeks/people-who-like-the-fact-that-it-has-an-environmental-message who will buy it, I present to you the James Cameron's Avatar drinking game.

 Haha, BLUE-ray...durrrrrrrrr....

For those of you unfamiliar, Avatar is the latest James Cameron film, and is a huge hit. It tells the story of how this really, really lucky bastard named Jake manages to save the world. Up until this point, it's like my autobiography. The part where it diverges a little is the fact that the world Jake saves is not Earth, but rather a perfect utopia being ravaged by the evil humans. The story also diverges from mine in that it got a whole lot of viewers (bringing in over 2.7 billion dollars), whereas I can really only get my girlfriend to read my blog. It's a good thing that it made so much money, though; the environmentalist, anti-corporate message was what brought people in, and, in tribute to that, Fox Studios decided to send all of the budget to preserving the rainforest. They even commissioned a sequel (and maybe a threequel?), so that they can save all the executives, er, rainforests.

In case you can't tell, I wasn't as thrilled with the film as most people. I found the effects to be absolutely stunning, but that was it. The story moved along at a pretty depressing pace, and the morals and messages just felt like James Cameron was dropping parallels and metaphors that really didn't apply ("shock and awe," indeed...). It was rather enjoyable, I'll give it that. The action scenes were pretty epic and the acting was pretty solid (especially considering the pure cheesiness of many of the lines; I still can't believe that Sigourney Weaver didn't burst out laughing when talking about how "the trees are their treasure" or whatever). But the film really was nothing too great; in a couple years, when all effects look that good, the film will be nothing terribly special.

Still, the film opens itself up for drinking, and that's what makes a movie truly great.

 If you can't get it up to this, it's just the alcohol...or just that...yeah, she's kind of...seriously, who is actually jerking off to this? Come on, people.

DRINK WHENEVER:
-Jake disobeys orders. This includes touching things in the forest (which they told him not to), getting up and running with his Avatar body before he's supposed to (in the real world, where things actually go wrong for people, he would have broken it), and any time that he could have talked to the Na'Vi and seen if they would let the humans get at the Unobtanium (which was the whole point of Jake's MISSION!!!)
-Any time the movie is similar to Dances With Wolves or Disney's Pocahontas.
-Any time that the movie drops a line about how the trees need to be saved, or that corporations are evil, or anything like that.

RECOMMENDED DRINKS:
Make a blue mixer of some sort. Although, no matter what I recommend, if something is labeled with the name "James Cameron," you're going to buy it. That's just how it works.

Jake and Neytiri...taking a shot!!!