Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Lord of the Rings

The Lord of the Rings comes out on Blu-ray today! The complete epic series! All over 9,000 hours of footage! In High Definition!

 Because drinking isn't actually making you drunk, unless it's in Hi-Def.

For some of us, this means nothing. Because some of us don't have the money to get Blu-ray players. But some of those people have roommates with PS3's. But should those roommates leave, the PS3 leaves too. Unless the roommate is dead...hmm...

But enough about people who are definitely not me, and their non-HD life! It's time to drink with all the folks of Middle-Earth!

 Even the poster has a sprawling scenery shot...just look at that lower left.

There are many rules that can be added to this movie to make it more enjoyable (because everything's better with alcohol). Pick and choose, though.

Drink every time that:
-Someone puts on the ring.
-Sam says "Frodo" or "Master Frodo!"
-There is a sweeping shot of New Zealand...two shots if there's a castle in the shot.
-Gollum says "My precious."
-Gimli says something comic-relief-esque, or clearly intended to be.
-Legolas does something bordering on the absurd (not running out of arrows at certain moments counts).
-Aragorn teases Eowyn. As in acting so much like he wants to be in her dress, but really doesn't all along. (Can you blame the girl for being confused?)
-and finally, my personal favorite, every time that Gandalf yells at/hits/scolds/insults/degrades/beats somebody.

Enjoy drinking! Although if the trip to the liquor store is miles and miles through mountains, mines, and other perils...maybe you should just ask your neighbors if they'll lend you any vodka.

Recommended drink: Miruvor

One drink to intoxicate them all, one drink to...shomthing er uther....

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