James Cameron's Avatar

Sorry about the late update, college has been hitting me hard with finals. This does, however, lead to a lot more drinking, and that means a lot more stuff that belongs here.

In honor of its recent DVD/Blu-ray release, and the millions of environmentalists/special-effects-geeks/people-who-like-the-fact-that-it-has-an-environmental-message who will buy it, I present to you the James Cameron's Avatar drinking game.

 Haha, BLUE-ray...durrrrrrrrr....

For those of you unfamiliar, Avatar is the latest James Cameron film, and is a huge hit. It tells the story of how this really, really lucky bastard named Jake manages to save the world. Up until this point, it's like my autobiography. The part where it diverges a little is the fact that the world Jake saves is not Earth, but rather a perfect utopia being ravaged by the evil humans. The story also diverges from mine in that it got a whole lot of viewers (bringing in over 2.7 billion dollars), whereas I can really only get my girlfriend to read my blog. It's a good thing that it made so much money, though; the environmentalist, anti-corporate message was what brought people in, and, in tribute to that, Fox Studios decided to send all of the budget to preserving the rainforest. They even commissioned a sequel (and maybe a threequel?), so that they can save all the executives, er, rainforests.

In case you can't tell, I wasn't as thrilled with the film as most people. I found the effects to be absolutely stunning, but that was it. The story moved along at a pretty depressing pace, and the morals and messages just felt like James Cameron was dropping parallels and metaphors that really didn't apply ("shock and awe," indeed...). It was rather enjoyable, I'll give it that. The action scenes were pretty epic and the acting was pretty solid (especially considering the pure cheesiness of many of the lines; I still can't believe that Sigourney Weaver didn't burst out laughing when talking about how "the trees are their treasure" or whatever). But the film really was nothing too great; in a couple years, when all effects look that good, the film will be nothing terribly special.

Still, the film opens itself up for drinking, and that's what makes a movie truly great.

 If you can't get it up to this, it's just the alcohol...or just that...yeah, she's kind of...seriously, who is actually jerking off to this? Come on, people.

DRINK WHENEVER:
-Jake disobeys orders. This includes touching things in the forest (which they told him not to), getting up and running with his Avatar body before he's supposed to (in the real world, where things actually go wrong for people, he would have broken it), and any time that he could have talked to the Na'Vi and seen if they would let the humans get at the Unobtanium (which was the whole point of Jake's MISSION!!!)
-Any time the movie is similar to Dances With Wolves or Disney's Pocahontas.
-Any time that the movie drops a line about how the trees need to be saved, or that corporations are evil, or anything like that.

RECOMMENDED DRINKS:
Make a blue mixer of some sort. Although, no matter what I recommend, if something is labeled with the name "James Cameron," you're going to buy it. That's just how it works.

Jake and Neytiri...taking a shot!!!

New Family Guy

A bit of a late post this week, mainly due to just plain forgetting. It's approaching finals week, which means all the more reason to play one of these games. Fortunately, getting the post out late really doesn't matter, as this is a drinking game for Sunday night. Specifically at 9:00 PM, EST, on Fox.

Yes, it is time to actually make the new episodes of Family Guy enjoyable.

 Sounds like a solid plan to me!

Don't get me wrong, Family Guy used to be a good show. It was enjoyable, it was fresh. These days, though, the show has just sunk into the same-old, tedious, predictable cesspool of boring that is what happens when Seth MacFarlene thinks that something is funny and it just plain isn't.

Fortunately, predictability is something that drinking games are formed on, and so this makes for a damn good game.

I vote for change. Change back to the standards the show used to have.

Drink when:
-Someone breaks into song. For every 30 seconds that that song goes on, take another shot. If, at the end of that song, you found that you did not laugh once, take another shot.
-The show uses clearly recycled animation or live-action. For every 30 seconds that this sequence goes on, take another shot.
-Take a shot if Conway Twitty shows up.
-Take a shot if Herbert the Pedophile shows up.
-Take a shot when there is some sort of liberal rant or propaganda. Take two if Brian is delivering it.'
-Take a shot when they make a "Stewie is gay" joke.

With the standard episode nowadays, you will have taken about15 shots in the matter of a half-hour. Note: This is a bad idea. Still, if someone got hurt, perhaps the blame could go to the show for sucking so badly. Maybe then it would convince them to cancel the show, and attempt to move onto something more innovative and fresh. Like The Cleveland Show. A totally different take on the Family Guy concepts. Unlike Family Guy, it features a fat dad, a talking and uber-intelligent baby, talking animals, and random cut-away gags...oh...well, at least all there's are black. Different in every way.

Recommended Drink: Something strong. Or beer. So you don't die.

If any of your friends start to look like this guy, feel free to punch them.

The Lord of the Rings

The Lord of the Rings comes out on Blu-ray today! The complete epic series! All over 9,000 hours of footage! In High Definition!

 Because drinking isn't actually making you drunk, unless it's in Hi-Def.

For some of us, this means nothing. Because some of us don't have the money to get Blu-ray players. But some of those people have roommates with PS3's. But should those roommates leave, the PS3 leaves too. Unless the roommate is dead...hmm...

But enough about people who are definitely not me, and their non-HD life! It's time to drink with all the folks of Middle-Earth!

 Even the poster has a sprawling scenery shot...just look at that lower left.

There are many rules that can be added to this movie to make it more enjoyable (because everything's better with alcohol). Pick and choose, though.

Drink every time that:
-Someone puts on the ring.
-Sam says "Frodo" or "Master Frodo!"
-There is a sweeping shot of New Zealand...two shots if there's a castle in the shot.
-Gollum says "My precious."
-Gimli says something comic-relief-esque, or clearly intended to be.
-Legolas does something bordering on the absurd (not running out of arrows at certain moments counts).
-Aragorn teases Eowyn. As in acting so much like he wants to be in her dress, but really doesn't all along. (Can you blame the girl for being confused?)
-and finally, my personal favorite, every time that Gandalf yells at/hits/scolds/insults/degrades/beats somebody.

Enjoy drinking! Although if the trip to the liquor store is miles and miles through mountains, mines, and other perils...maybe you should just ask your neighbors if they'll lend you any vodka.

Recommended drink: Miruvor

One drink to intoxicate them all, one drink to...shomthing er uther....

Super Mario

Right Nintendo players, both past and present, it is time to bust out a gaming system and play a Mario drinking game.

 Itsa time to a-put-a on-a my drinking cap!

There is only one rule for drinking in a Mario game: drink every time that Mario (or any other playable character) falls down a pit.

This may sound like too simple of a game, but the complexity lies in the vicious cycle that it presents. You have to consider that it includes those who are playing the game.

Thus, once Mario falls down a pit, not only will those happy little "you died" chords play, but the player will take a shot. And then they will fall down another. And take a shot. And then, the alcohol will lead them down another pit. To take another shot. To increase the chances of falling down a pit. To take a shot.

I am begging you that you pass out at some point. This is easily one of those games that could result in death.

 You're going to want to drink now, anyway, to forget this horror.

Recommended games: Any one that has multiplayer, so that more people jump down more pits. Especially recommended is the recent "New Super Mario Bros Wii", in which the multiplayer happens at the same time. 4 players at one time=much falling=much alcohol=much fun.

Enjoy, and mamma mia, please play safe.

Recommended drink: Something italian. Maybe wine. That way it'll also be safer. Trust me, it just requires a buzz, and then stuff will get awesome.

Thank you so much for to playing my game!

The Boondock Saints

In a little bit of a late honors of St. Patrick's Day (I'm only off by a week), I present to you a drinking game for Troy Duffy's "The Boondock Saints."

Now, "The Boondock Saints" is already a classic installment in the franchise of drinking films. The traditional version involves taking a shot every time that a character says "fuck". With it's 246 uses of the word, it's no surprise that viewers are hammered around the 30-minute mark. Aided by the unbelievable lull that the movie hits around the halfway point, I'm pretty certain that most people are asleep by the end.

Playing the same old drinking game is also dull, though, so here are a couple suggestions for different ways to drink your way to happiness.

Take a shot:

-Every time that there is a fade-out. You'll actually be wasted by the end of the opening credits.

-Every time that one of the brothers' 'Irish accents' slips.

-Anytime that, despite this movie being hinged on the "Suspension of Disbelief" principle, you still can't help thinking "Bullshit." (I'll accept swinging from a rope and taking out 8 gangsters...back-alley deaths in a dangerous Boston Neighborhood on St. Patrick's Day not only making the front page of the Boston Herald, but also instantly dragging in FBI investigators? Say it with me now, in an Irish accent, if you please. Bull-sheet. And don't get me started on Willem Dafoe's convincing disguise...if you haven't seen the movie, you'll know it when you see it.)

Recommended Drink:

Nothing too heavy, but nothing too light either. It's not quite as much as the "fuck" version, but it's still a considerable amount of alcohol going into your system. Play to your weight. Maybe go with something Irish, in honor of the movie's love. Or maybe vodka, to commemorate the Russians that are being slaughtered.

How This Is Gonna Go Down

Giving you the basic premise in a first post: this is a website devoted to establishing drinking games, based on movies, video-games, music, or simple activities, many of which are along the lines of something geeky or nerdy.

As such, I feel it only appropriate to start with off with this recommendation: read this entry, and take a shot of some sort of drink every time that I use the word 'shot,' 'alcohol,' or 'drinking game.'

Exactly What Is This?
As iterated at the top, this is a blog devoted to bringing readers such as you drinking games (drink). In case you aren't aware, drinking games (drink) are a form of entertainment during which participants watch a movie, TV show, or anything along those lines. At certain, predefined points, participants will take a shot (drink) of some sort of alcohol (drink), usually harder varieties.
For example, one very popular drinking game (drink) is to watch The Boondock Saints, and take a shot (drink) every time that a character drops the f-bomb. Most viewers are unconscious by the 30-minute mark, which might explain why everyone thinks that that movie is such a masterpiece.


Why make this blog?
Well, for one thing, these games can be pretty awesome. For example, my friends and I actually played one based on Nickelodeon cartoon "Avatar: the Last Airbender," for my 21st birthday party. It was pretty awesome, actually. It also just goes to show how far the realm of drinking games (drink) can go. I mean, there's potential for a "Dora the Explorer" drinking game for Pete's sake!
Drinking games (drink) aren't just a way to get wasted, though. They're a way to make commentary, note specific film-making and acting styles, and even rip apart shows and movies for their flaws.

Anything I Should Know Before Playing the Games?
First off, I'm just gonna put out the disclaimer here: these are mostly joking. Many of the games involved are going to involve absurd amounts of drinking. I am not saying that you should not play any of the games, but I am asking that you use discretion. I am not taking responsibility for anything that might happen. I don't want to get people suing me because Jimmy Frat-boy here had to go to the hospital, because he watched "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines" and took a shot (drink) every time that John Connor is a complete moron, as opposed to the badass savior that he's supposed to become. He should have known his limits. You should probably be more concerned that Jimmy was watching that piece of shit in the first place.
On that note, it should be noted that this blog will contain language, sexual references, and perhaps even some violent descriptions of what should be done to Kevin Smith for what he did in "Clerks II." (Hint: I did not like that movie.) As such, anyone who is very young or innocent, please leave the building now.
After all, this is, as well, a site with much basis in alcohol (drink). Please, be as law-abiding as possible. I am not going to take responsibility if some 13 year old punk decided to be cool and play one of these games with a bottle of Jägermeister. Please drink responsibly.
Lastly, enjoy this site. And feel free to leave me comments and suggestions. Input is always a welcome thing.